In which I muse about how I interact with the world.

You guys, before the 8th grade, I had never hugged anyone not related to me. The idea of touching other people wasn’t repugnant, it just was so far outside of my realm of experience that it never even occurred to me. But the summer before 8th grade was my last Navy-induced move (have I mentioned my Navy brattitude before? hmm) and the denizens of the suburbs of DC plus being 13 helped invert my world in lots of ways.

I’ve talked about this time in my life as my first episode in depression, but it was full of lots of firsts, good and bad. A month into the school year, my new friend Mary bestowed upon me my first non-familial hug. I was taken aback to the extreme, but it seemed harmless so I permitted this intimacy to happen whenever she felt it necessary. That hug was my gateway drug! (ooh, rhymey.)

When I started high school, I got involved in the theater department. Let me tell you, if I was still hanging on to some sort of diffidence about physical contact, it was hugged, kissed, and snuggled out of existence quickly. Theater folk are a touchy bunch in so many ways, but we’ll stick with the literal for today’s post …I not only allowed friends to hug me, I welcomed it, and initiated my fair share of them. At all night cast parties, 4 am usually found us in a giant puppy pile of platonic affection in front of a tv in someone’s basement. (Mysteriously, my parents were fine with all night co-ed cast parties despite the fact that they were staunch defenders of my virtue generally.) I started adopting friend as brothers and sisters.

Now 12 year old me would probably think I was a big ol’ ho, because I make sure not only to hug and kiss my friends, and feel no compunction about snuggling on the couch with them, but I make sure to tell them how much I love them. Probably not as often as I should, but still pretty damn often. When I was a kid and my grandmother openly lusted after characters on her soap operas, I was aghast. Now I have internet crushes on friends and strangers alike, knowing it has nothing to do with my relationship with The Boy. Part of it is just growing up and understanding the world is more complex than it seems it should be when we’re young, but a lot of it is the same thing that occasionally gets me into trouble: once I accept someone into my life, I pretty much have no barriers. (Shocking, I know, coming from the girl who told the world her cat ate a condom…) Hell, I hardly have any barriers with people I don’t know. (Hi, Internet!!) This is different for biological family versus my found one, but blood does complicate. For the most part, I am happy to let people see who I am, and that tends to make them okay with letting me see who they are, which tends to result in gushed professions of adoration from me.

I’m not anywhere near where I thought I would be at this point in my life, when I imagined it as a kid. Sometimes that is a hugely horrible, discouraging thing to me. But in this case, I think it’s pretty awesome.

REMINDER: DERBY! SATURDAY! DC ARMORY! BE THERE!

The Joys of Pet Ownership, the less hilarious edition.

Why is it that my little pumpkinlump insists on only being sick after regular vets close? Last night (or more accurately, this morning) we made trip number 3 in two years to the emergency vet for Fitz. I’ve been a bit lax on Laxatoning him (yay, kitty intestinal lube!) and it seems bath time with Zelda plus FUR FLY MURDER TIMES when they chase each other and try to embalden one another (totally a word!!!) led to a hairball impacting Fitz’s cecum, which is an intestinal dead end. He barfed about ever hour or two from 11 to 3 last night, and then when he had no more to barf I syringed him water which naturally made him barf some more. Between barfs I was giving him laxatone but it wasn’t until the doc asked me about barf consistency that I realized he was puking that back up, too.

A little before 4 am I decided that his gums were too pale (a sign of dehydration) and I would have to take him to the kitty ER. I had been up with him all night (at least my insomnia chose a good night to rear its head!) and so my 4 am drive to Greenbelt took an hour as I 1) took the right exit and went the right way on it but then second guessed myself 2) turned around and went like 6 million miles out of my way before calling to check on which exit I should take (phone was at 7%, I am amazed I got to make 3 whole calls this morning) and turning around 3) going the wrong way on the exit (to be fair, she TOLD me to go the wrong way, alas) and finally 4) calling again and being told to turn around. (The routes to the ER vet and the local Wegmans are forever getting mixed up in my mind, because I go to them equally as often, which is to say not often at all. So I thought I had messed up and gone most of the way to Wegs when in fact I was almost to the vet when I turned around the first time. :/ *sad trumpet*)

Happily, fluids plus anti-nausea meds made Fitz feel right as rain, though we’re still working on getting that hairball passed. Unhappily, because of the anti-nausea meds and the antibiotics they want me to give him to avoid this hairball doing more damage, plus x-rays, my entire paycheck is gone. Little Bastard is lucky I love his smooshy face so much. After 25 or -six hours awake, I slept for around 5 and a half hours while he grumped about not being allowed to eat but soon he will need to eat and get pilled (fun. -_-) and, his Lord and Masterfulness gets to eat babyfood. Which I now have to go out and buy.

Also happily, I have super awesome bosses who are totally willing to let me make up my hours (part timers don’t get paid leave) whenever works for me, so I will be spending Sunday at the office (which, yes, is what *I* wanted) and didn’t even sigh laboriously (at least not in text) when I emailed to let them know a pukemonster was keeping me from working today.

At least it was good for my writing, because as I lay ready to drift into dreamland (which, weirdly, featured Charm City’s mascot Bane-ana as a coworker (not in the banana suit, alas)) I mentally composed a poem (and went over it several times in order to remember it when I awoke enough to write it down) so there just might be something new for you next Tuesday instead of old poems.

Also: SATURDAY! ROLLERDERBY! DC ARMORY! BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In which I continue to be relentlessly positive

The old phone goes away today! (they’re changing the phones in the senate office buildings from ancient phones from the 1990s to modern phones from the early aughts!) I will regain at least 6 square inches of desk space! (Yes, I know it is sad that this is so exciting to me. Shut it.)

It’s senate recess, which is nice because we get to wear jeans and come in half an hour later (well, one committee does that, so I think I’m taking shorter lunch today until I clear the half hour delay with Katie for the week, but I am cool with that) and lots of people schedule vacations over recess so parking is better.

OH! DAMN! I forgot that I need to get a copy of my eye Rx so I can buy super cheap glasses to wear while skating. (Because my insurance does not have eye coverage, my dad graciously covers my eye related expenses, and does his at the same time, which means I have to go to the parents’ for that stuff, which means I will have to make the trek back to their area to get the Rx.)

This might be more stream of consciousness than usual.

When visiting mom and dad, I asked if I could have a piece of luggage from their giant collection of luggage (seriously, they have like 60 luggage sets. Or, you know, 4. Whatever, they’re practically the same number) to use to carry my skate stuff in, and they allowed me to take one (it has wheels! YAY!) so now my skates, pads, helmet, and tool kit are tucked away there’s even room to throw in clothes to change into to skate in, for Mondays and Tuesdays when I go to Temple Hills.

Remember, this weekend is DERBY at the Armory! (I have to get my ass in gear for scheduling the bouncers. Hurry up, lunch break!)

As it is Tuesday, AND I REMEMBER that it is Tuesday, here is a very short, untitled poem:

Watching, waiting,
the moon setting on all attempts of normalcy.
Hoping, praying,
the sunrise will light a new way;
a path that won’t lead travellers off a new cliff
masquerading as a short drop.

Reading all day really mellows a girl out.

Instead of getting a rant about birth control that I didn’t get around to writing yet, you get pleasant happiness type things.

I did not clean any basements, because 1) I was busy doing other things and 2) the basements are not prepared for me to clean them, apparently. Yay! I spent Friday and Saturday with The Boy, being lazy nerd types who like video games and movies and reading…and other things….and then went to the pit crew meeting and my parents’ on Sunday. Attendance at the meeting was less than stellar, but the restaurant that took our reservation decided to open an hour late so as to not honor it, so it sort of worked out. Progress continues to be made, yay! I was full of headache from around 2 am Sunday morning but didn’t give in an take a treximet until this afternoon because it was never so bad I was like OH MY GOD NEED MAJOR MEDS but it was always bad enough for me to be lazy and grumpy and displeased with my brain. I think I might have been more useful as far as making progress if I had taken meds earlier, but I was hoping it would go away on it’s own.

Mom and dad showered me with gifts they forgot to give me before and shared photos of my adorable nephews with me and made me dinner. I also got my helmet and a birthday present from my brother and sister-in-law (and said adorable nephews, who are so adorable the world might explode, btw) so that was nice. I now own Bane-ana’s book about being a roller derby mascot and a shirt that proclaims proudly “I skate like a girl.”

The child size helmet was STILL too big but not SO too big that I would have to exchange it again for a child’s large instead of a child’s XL. I contacted Wicked Skatewear, from where the rookie package containing the original helmet was purchased, and S-One Helmets, who manufacture the brain bucket, to see if there were different sized sizing pads I could get and both responded ON A HOLIDAY WEEKEND to help me out and I love them and so should you. In fact, in addition to thanking them via email, I mentioned it here, on facebook, and on twitter, which is something I hardly ever do unless the business mentioned behaves particularly douchily. That’s how awesome they are-they busted through the axiom that knowledge of bad customer service spreads a billion times faster/more/whatever than that of good customer service.

I wanted to spend today cleaning. That was TOTALLY the plan. Instead, I took my meds and decided to read until they kicked in. That was also the plan. Reality, it turns out, differed from the plan in that I read the entire book from page 1 to finish and I am very annoyed to have to wait to go to the library tomorrow. (I don’t have any cash to go skating with, so I think I will hit the library and then the pool parking lot for outside skating after work-luckily my wheels are hard enough for outside skating, though they aren’t so much designed for it as they are for GOING REALLY FAST ON INDOOR SURFACES.) Fortunately for me, I have two books to read that don’t have to be given back to anyone, so I won’t be bored at work during breaks tomorrow.

We REALLY need volunteers for the February bout, so if you want to get in FOR FREE sign up here…volunteering has other perks as well-you get to know the skaters, and if you volunteer a certain number of times, you get to join the pit crew and get invites to special events as well as discounts on merch! SIGN UP TODAY! And if that doesn’t appeal, come out to the DC Armory on February 25 to catch the Bombshells battle the DemonCats at 4 and the Whips face off with Scare Force One at 5:45 for a mere $12 bucks! (Get there early folks, the lines were CRAZY LONG last time. Doors open at 3 and there is beer and delicious food as well as cool merch, opportunities to get your picture taken with skaters, and skater-made crafts and baked goods for sale, too!)

You guys, I can CONTROL THE WEATHER!

No seriously, last night, as I was drifting off, my brain was composing disjointed poeticish phrases about fog and then this morning? It’s foggy. But not everywhere, just in a 2 block radius around my apartment building. Everywhere else it was sunny and warm and pleasant. BECAUSE I WILLED IT SO.

Or possibly it’s just a coincidence…nahhh.

I now know the name of the woman who shares the office with me. On Wednesday I sent an email to our chief clerk to see if I could get some space for my boxes and she said she’d think on what we can do and she came in yesterday afternoon to talk with me about it, and asked the officemate some stuff as well. After she left my officemate spoke with me a bit, just a little getting to know you chitchat. But I feel less weird about sharing the space now.

Aside from cleaning at mom and dad’s this weekend, there’s a DCRG Pit Crew meeting Sunday morning, and I am hoping to do some skating in mom and dad’s neighborhood before that. I’m going up Saturday morning, and I have lots to do before I go, so tonight will be “finish cleaning the kitchen and then go to bed early” night. Which, I grant you, means this is gonna be the lamest holiday weekend ever. *shrug* I intend to make the next 3 day weekend count though, you guys, in a big way. Even if it just means I do nothing but be a slug with the boy ALL WEEKEND with only the eating of delicious junky carbs and watching of movies/tv and…doing other things. A lot. All weekend. . . is it May yet?

(My birth control rant will come on Monday, probably. I didn’t forget!)

New job is weird.

So up to now, I’ve been doing half a week at one job and half a week at the other. That’s changing next week so I spend a half day with each committee every day, because it allows me to respond to stuff more quickly.

However, new job doesn’t have any place for me to put stuff and I share an office (as does almost everyone)…I have a small desk (it’s about a third of what I have at old job) and the floor space under the desk, and that’s it. I need someplace to put boxes of records! We’re working on it but it’s hard, because space is at a premium.

Also, I have no idea who I am sharing an office with. When I moved to my permanent desk, I introduced myself. The response? “You’re what?” I repeat my name. “Oh.” WHO DOES THAT?

As far as the actual work goes, though, it’s pretty cool. I am getting a lot of good experience (and my boss at old job happily answers my questions, because I am essentially doing here what she does there.) It’s 1 part what I do at old job and 3 parts new things, so it’s going to look great on my resume (note to self: update resume!) and will likely land me a great job after this one ends.

Tonight I am meeting up with a friend who is going to spend a year working in Japan. I am excited for her but I will miss her lots. Maybe my next job will include tons of leave and huge paychecks and I can go visit, though! *fingers crossed*

Finished 1Q84. I understand now how there were so many pages. There was a lot to wrap up before things could end. That being said, I didn’t find much that wasn’t expected happening after the midpoint. But it was really good, so I forgive it. Next up, some fluff (CE Murphy’s Urban Shaman, because I have been following her on G+ because she is interesting, but I hadn’t read anything by her) and some David Foster Wallace essays for book club.

Weekend: cleaning Mom and Dad’s basement, early prep for DCRG bout (February 15th! DC Armory! 4 pm! Get there early so you can catch the start!)

I went skating last night!

It was awesome! I was immediately more comfortable on my skates than I was last time (and more comfortable in them–apparently skates made with some artificial materials are easier to break in than all-leather ones). I had an easier time not falling (although when I did fall, I still fell on my butt, dammit.) I was even going pretty fast on turns, at least when I wasn’t thinking about it too much. I felt like I was ready to try crossovers, but every time I decided to attempt them, I over-thought it and messed up or psyched myself out. :/ Considering how much more comfortable I was with just skating, though, I have a feeling I’ll be doing them soon.

The Temple Hills staff who skate the rink with us are all really great-both last time and this time, they would check on me and give me pointers. Most of my falls were the result of avoiding kids who were out of control and cut me off, or much more talented teenage boys who were showing off and cut too close to me (and if I hadn’t reacted, they would almost certainly not have caused me to fall anyway, but it’s HARD not to react!)…by the end of the night I fell a couple times just because my ass/quads/calves were tired of supporting me so my center of gravity moved back a bit.

I didn’t get to do even a full hour of skating though, because at 7:30 they did exclusive skates-couples skate, girls only (for which I obviously skated), boys only, and then advanced skaters only, who did tricks. Each skate was 10-15 minutes long, so when 8:20 rolled around and I still wasn’t skating I decided to GTFO already. I think this was because it was Valentine’s Day, as they didn’t do these exclusive skates last time I was there on a Tuesday, but I guess we’ll see next week. (Speaking of Valentine’s day, apparently I am the only one who didn’t get the WEAR RED memo, heh)

Charm City has a bout this Saturday, by the way. And the sign up to volunteer for the February 25th DCRG bout is up, so please sign up! 2 hours of volunteering gets you in to see the bouts free! Best deal EVER!

How to Not Get Stung By Bees

Reblogged from Angie's Anti-Theistic Thoughts:

It is simply shocking that in the year 2012 people are still getting stung by bees, even when we all know perfectly well the best ways to avoid this. Clearly, people are being frivolous and uncareful in their personal protection and if they took this kind of threat a bit more seriously, maybe they wouldn’t hate themselves so badly after an attack. So, in the spirit of victim-shaming, let me share with you the best methods for avoiding being stung by a bee. Remember: if you are stung by a bee, you should …

A fabulous parody of idiotic and infantalizing suggestions on how to avoid being raped.

Happy VD! Also, some things suck.

I have been single on Valentine’s Day, and I have been in relationships on Valentine’s Day. But really, I don’t care too much about it. I like chocolate, so if someone is like “here, have some chocolate!” I’m all “YES PLEASE” and that’s pretty much how I feel about today as a holiday. So! If you love Valentine’s Day, have a Happy Valentine’s Day! If you hate Valentine’s Day, have a Happy Tuesday! And if you are indifferent, like I am, well, bring me some chocolate!

Hey, what sort of things does a judicial application of Tums cure in your tummy that AREN’T heartburn? Because last night when I went to bed, my stomach was PISSED. It felt like someone with needles for some of their fingers was kneading and mashing it. I got up and took 4 tums because I figured they couldn’t hurt (and 4 orange ones tumbled into my hand. FATE!) and if they didn’t do anything then I would move on to Pepto, but the tums worked. It’s been a bit grumpy since I got to work, but I figure that’s just because I am hungry.

The other day I was walking to my car and saw a squirrel gathering up leaves in his mouth. I thought it would be fabulous if someone had created a Hey Girl style tumblr called Hey Squirrel. Funny or Die already got to that meme, squirrel style.

I have a big rant about birth control and Catholic-affiliated non-church entities and whathaveyou, but right now I am waiting to hear from a friend who represents a different opinion than I do so I’m gonna sit on it for a bit.

I remembered my stuff today so I am going skating tonight! 2 dollar Tuesdays for the win!

And it’s poetry day. here ya go:

‘what is it?’ you ask,
already knowing the answer
but hoping to find an error in your
constantly infallible logic
eating away at the emotional stem
of your half empty wineglass.

eating away, that’s good, but why is it eating glass?
why isn’t it?

“what can I do?” she replies,
sure she can do nothing and so
despairing in response
sinking to depths unmeasured before
plumbing the roots of empty words

feelings, emotions, a soul’s echoes bouncing off the walls of a cavern of text
ASCII tunnel?

“So who’s up for a little marrow-sucking in this quiet life?”
He wants to provoke, to incite, but
tries too hard, tactics are wrong,
to incite one must not say “let’s do something!”
one must inspire by doing

perhaps by not mocking?
perhaps by less pretension?

Beer and Games and Procrastination

1. The Boy made a porter. We finally got to taste it this weekend. It is good. WE HAVE MADE LIFE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAcoughcoughHaha….
2. I needed to do some cleaning and laundry this weekend. Instead I hung out with friends and played games and read 1Q84 and slept a lot.
3. I meant to go skating after work tonight but I forgot to grab my bag o’ pads on my way out the door this morning, so sucks to be me.
4. I have been getting a lot of migraines lately and I don’t know why. I thought I knew why, but the stuff I thought was causing them is passed and they’re still happening. Not fun.
5. This list needs a fifth item.

1Q84 is really interesting, you guys, but I am about halfway through and the story seems like it is wrapping up and I can’t imagine how there could possibly be 400 more pages.

Also I hate money.

This is the most disjointed post ever.