Also, check out this post by retired Naptown Rollergirl Joan of Dark: Dating a Rollergirl: A Survival Guide for truth and humor.

Edited to correct league affiliation (aka oops, I fucked up)

The box arrived on Tuesday, but I asked my neighbor to grab it because I wasn’t getting home until late on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I didn’t get to see it until last night. I was SO excited! I took a picture of the box. Then of the open but otherwise undisturbed box. I noticed there were 2 hair flowers instead of the 1 I ordered. I shrugged it off, not too worried. I tried on the shoes (which were on mega-sale!) and was delighted with them. I pulled out the dress and the crinoline. I tried on the dress. It wouldn’t zip over the point of my back where the bra strap sits. I tried with two different belly-sucking-in shorts and with a full body-suck-in slip. No dice. Very disappointed, but not too upset. Decide to try the crinoline with it anyway, to see if it would have worked. Spoiler alert: nope. I’d have had to wear it with the waist around the fullest part of my ass to have it anywhere close to the right length, and I wanted it to peek out just below the hem. So disappointment number two. Start looking into returning the items. I swear I read the return policy before ordering but somehow I missed a few things, namely that two of the three things I wanted to return were unreturnable (the extra hair flower and the crinoline.) Disappointment 3.

I know that this is not, in the grand scheme of things, that big of a deal. It just isn’t. But with so many disappointments lately, with failing my comps and issues at work and hurting myself to the point where I might not get to try out for roller derby, I was really hanging some high hopes on this party, and to have them fucked up with before the party even happens was very last straw-ish in my ability to handle disappointment. I pouted extensively on twitter and a bit on facebook, too, and now I’ve pouted here (after returning from the post office where I mailed off the dress, at least, to get a refund.) I picked out a new dress from another website (because theirs are less expensive) and hopefully it works. I’m going to try to sell the crinoline and hair flower and get a new, cheap, correct length crinoline with the proceeds, so the money doesn’t just go down the drain. It’s all handled. But some of the shiny has worn off.

Also, I have a brain full of things that are not, strictly speaking, within the wheelhouse of the blog, so I thought I’d ask you if you want to read my thoughts on them before I word-barf them all over the internets. They’re all sort of intertwined, so I don’t know if it would be 1 post or multiples, but it’s all stuff about honesty and communication and relationships. This brainful is because of stuff in my own life and also because of the polyamory/threesome episodes of Sex Nerd Sandra’s podcast (which you should listen to-the whole series of podcasts are really interesting and often funny and totally sex positive, which I think is a good, feminist thing, since they’re against slut-shaming and all that, and it has helped me understand more about non-cis-gendered* people as well, which is good for openness and understanding and not shunning and stuff and often can be related to both feminism and LGBTQ issues (duh)) SO! Do you want to read my rambling and still-working-it-out thoughts on these things, or no?

*cis-gendered, for those of you who don’t know the term, are people who were born the gender they identify as.

Edited to add: This is the photograph I took of the crino (I have a buyer for the hair flower already) which is a bit more orange on my screen than it actually appears in real life, and this is the link to the product info and the color looks more like what it is in real life than it does in my photo, at least on my screen. $40 or best offer.

Today I had my first PT appointment. There was lots of talking and pushing and poking and “does this hurt? what about this?” for a bit and then some balancing on one foot and “what does that feel like?” and some walking and more poking and prodding and questions about pain. Then I got up on the table and we did some stuff that basically determined how much weaker my right ankle is (he said about 20% weaker) and he said that he thinks the injured bits are my pereneus longus tendon, and a tendon injury is easier to heal than a ligament injury. Then he pulled my leg off.

Well, not off. It’s still attached, really. He tugged gently, and made sure it didn’t hurt, then tugged more firmly, and again asked if it hurt, and then he yanked me halfway down the table, and told me to walk and see how it felt. And y’all, it FELT GREAT. We had three sessions of that, and then he did a fairly gentle pull-push thing for a bit and it seriously felt like I hadn’t ever hurt myself. Then I did some simple resistance exercises (it felt SO WEIRD to do one leg and not the other, you guys) and then some other exercises on this board with a ball in it thingy, and then I got extremely iced down (dude, that ice pack was cooooooooooooooooooooooold) for a while before being sent on my way with my very own rubber band thingy to do my resistance exercises several times a day. (basically whenever I want/can.) I can’t skate for a while, still (we’re operating on the assumption of 2 weeks right now) but the goal for those two weeks are to make it so I can walk for up to 2 hours without pain and also drive without pain (I can drive for a bit without pain, but more than 30 minutes tends to be problematic)…I’ll be seeing a different PT for the rest of my appointments so I can take as little time out of my work schedule as possible for this, and he was very encouraging about the idea of me skating in 2 or 3 weeks. Best case scenario for me is if the tryouts are announced as happening sometime during the last two weeks of June at the earliest, though there is an outside chance I’ll be able to skate beforehand. So, fingers crossed! I’d be so disappointed to miss the tryouts by like a week. If I don’t make it because of my skills, that’s one thing; not trying out at all is another. I would be so bummed.

Difference between white collar and blue collar employees on the Hill. White collar employees (with the exception of the actual congresspeople) are ALWAYS IN A HURRY. Blue collar? Totally taking their time. That isn’t to say they aren’t working hard. But if you stand in the hallway, you’ll notice the suits are all speed-walking everywhere. EVERYWHERE. And often, around/past the blue collar types, who have a more sedate pace. Relatedly: Note to self, the world won’t end if you miss the elevator.

From Roller Derby Saved My Soul

Also, I only did the alphabet thing twice on Sunday because the first time I did it it hurt a lot more than it had previously (and since). I don’t know why.

I spent yesterday working on my study method, because re-reading things again isn’t really helping. So I picked out a few old comps questions that I’d be likely to want to answer if they were my exam questions and found a bunch of citations for them, so I can study those instead. This was only the first time I did it, but I figure if I do this for like 10 questions from a range of the past 4 exams (the one I took and all the ones from last year) then I am likely to get a range of citations that are general enough to apply to a range of questions that cover topics I am likely to be interested in answering anyway. Since I’m not skating tonight anyway, I’ll be using the time to study some more, and also write a practice essay or two, as well as touching base with Dr Z.

Otherwise, I am just grumped. It turns out my scale is a lying liar, and has not given an accurate reading since the first time it was used. There’s stuff at work that needs to get talked out, because I am wicked confused/frustrated but I didn’t really realize those things were an issue until later, and I don’t know how to go about talking about this in a way that is both professional and adult. Meh. I want to skate out the yuck so I can go about this more rationally, but I CAN’T SKATE RIGHT NOW ARGH

This weekend the DC Allstars and Capital Offenders went to Ohio to derby it up. from DCRG’s status update yesterday: “This weekend the DC All-Stars magic number is 30… with a win against Bleeding Heartland, DC All-Stars 188 to Bleeding Heartland 158 and again with a win against Cincinnati, to DC All-Stars 162 to Cincinnati 132. Also congrats the Capitol Offenders win this morning.” Photos of the CapOffs here and of both bouts here by two Cincy photographers.

We also did a little work on whips, because whips are fun. Whips are when one skater giver another skater a bit of a boost in speed, transferring their own momentum to the skater getting whipped by pulling the whippee past the whipper. (Youtube it, I am sure there are tons of examples that make more sense than my explanation.) It was really fun! We did outside whips and inside whips (where the whipper was standing still, because many of us are still fairly coltish on skates) and then Hun showed us a way to work on our upper body strength and practice the whipping motion. You hold hands with 1 other skater, pull them forward, and then they pull you forward, then you pull them forward, over and over, all around the rink. I was not pulling from the shoulder enough and pulled my partner LM into me instead of past me, and in order to avoid knocking her down, I ended up tripping over myself and twisting my ankle. :/ It REALLY hurt for a couple seconds, but I knew it was just a little twist and if I could work my ankle a bit I’d be fine. (Poor LM felt so bad, I wanted to hug her and assure her it’s my own klutzarama self to blame!) So I sat down and rolled my ankle and flexed it in various directions until it stopped hurting, and I was fine. I geared down, packed up, and walked over to talk to some of the other girls about working out together (we had talked about it at a previous session, but hadn’t settled anything.) While we were talking, I dropped my keys into the rink near a drain. I was standing up on a step, and as I stepped down I was putting all my weight on my just recovering ankle (this was literally like 15 minutes after I had injured it!) and re-injured it (though I didn’t actually fall to the ground and roll over in a whiny pile of whine this time, just stumbled.) I limped to my car with the other girls, and found that driving was less comfortable than it had been, and RICEd my ankle (well, I saved compression for today…) and hoped I’d be okay. I woke around 4:30 this morning and ended up taking 2 extra strength tylenol (because that’s the first NSAID I pulled out of the Bag o’ Medicines) and when I got up I felt pretty okay. Still limpy, but not too bad.

Then I left the building and did the SAME DAMN THING AGAIN on the steps. It hurt so much I almost cried in front of the high schoolers waiting for their bus. I decided to avoid the steps down to the parking lot, instead taking the long way down the hill (which still motherfucking hurt OMG) and by the time I got to my car I had decided I would call the doctor.

I went into work and talked with my boss a bit and then headed out to the doctor, who told me to take 2 aleve twice a day for a week, get a neoprene brace for my ankle to support it, ice it for 10 minutes 2-3 times a day, and heat it for 10 minutes 2-3 times a day as well. After heating it, I am to trace the alphabet with my big toe (with no weight on my injured leg), then ice it when I am done to reduce swelling. (I’m telling you this mainly so I remember)…she also said that if I want to be able to do tryouts, I have to see a physical therapist, and gave me a generic ‘script to take to one closer to home than her office (which is near my parents’, but not so convenient to me. When you have the doctor office experiences I have had*, and you find a good one, if you don’t like 2+ hours from them you stick with them, dammit!)…the main issue is convincing my insurance to cover PT for a sprained ankle (which was the official diagnosis-neither my doc nor I felt an x-ray was necessary because neither of us think it’s broken, due to a number of factors, including the fact that I can pretty much walk)…normal procedure is to just rest it for a few weeks, but the expectation is that tryouts (which are still not announced) will be early June. I’ll barely be able to skate then if I just rest the whole time, let alone work on crossovers and hops and falls and skating backwards and all that stuff that I need to be able to do to pass my WFTDAs in September.

So. Shin splints. Sprained ankle. Anyone want a pair of legs, slightly used? I’ll trade ya for some of those springy prosthetic feet runners have (with detachable wheels, of course!!)

Look at the apple trying to escape my right ankle!! From Roller Derby Saved My Soul

*no, I won’t tell right now. Suffice to say that they sucked.

Okay. So. Yesterday I posted my goals and whether or not I have achieved them. My skating goals, it turns out, were a bit vague and loosey goosey because I didn’t know exactly what it was I needed to do, and what that stuff was called, and all that. I know more now, so I am going to revise those goals.
1. Crossovers: should be smooth, brisk, going in and out of turns, and performed consistently. No tripping, pushing with both feet.
2. All-eights: I need to achieve the figure eight form consistently and use my hips more
3. 1 foot glides: I need to be able to do this much longer than I currently can. balance!! Practice on straightaways and curves.
4. Weaving: need to work on leading with the correct foot (left for weaving left, right for weaving right)
5. Hops and Lateral Hops: need to stay low as soon as I land, keep arms in!
6. Static stepping and staying still: use wheels more for stepping, move less while squatting! Don’t fall!
7. stops: plow stops are taking too long to stop-gotta keep working on squeezing those thighs! (bonus: turn around and hockey stops-attempt if you make meat camp!)
8. 1 knee falls: work on recovery time
9: All four falls: dude, gotta try these before tryouts! STOP WUSSING OUT, IT DOESN’T HURT. THAT’S THE POINT. Keep your hands in fists.
10. Baseball falls: see all four falls. DO IT.
11. Single knee turn falls and rock star falls: work on recovery time and not putting your hand down.
12. 25 in 5: get at least 18 laps in before 5 minutes elapse. Once this is achieved, try for 25.

These goals are pre-meat camp and pre-WFTDA exams goals. If I don’t make meat camp, then these will be things I want to do by September. The falls-definitely pre-meat camp, even if I don’t make it. numbers 2,3,5,8, and somewhat 12 are less important right now. Priority-wise, the things that I have to be able to do to get into meat camp are my priority ones-falls, crossovers, consistently good plow stops. The others are priority twos, to work on during meat camp or this summer.
___
Last night, I did not do dishes or make fried rice, but I did study. So there’s that. I think I need to increase my study time, though, so there will be study timed added in on the weekend. I was just too lazy to do it last night. Also, to make up for my absence last week, I’m staying late this week and Monday, so everything starts later.

RIGHT HERE:

1. Get back on track with the whole fitness thing.
2. Learn to stop on skates without falling down or gliding to a stop, inertia-style, before January is over.
3. Get low and learn to turn so I can actually skate in a circle before the end of January.
4. Skate a minimum of 4 times a week.
5. Learn to skate backwards.
6. Make it into Meat Camp and pass WFTDAs

And, since I have some non-skating goals too:

1. Don’t keep people who make me feel like crap in my life.
2. Also, don’t make a big deal about getting rid of those people
3. Get a job that pays well enough that I can stop relying on others for money
4. Get a job I love. (Ideally, the same one as the above job!)
5. Rebuild my savings
6. Pay off credit card, at least one of my student loans
7. Make sure the people who don’t make me feel like crap know how much I love them, all the time. (I’f you’re in my life, and it’s because I want you around rather than because we share office space or whatever, I love you.)
8. Take 1 non-family trip, whether it is the Big Continent Tour I have been planning (unlikely), a graduation present trip to Europe (hopefully!!) or a weekend visiting semi-nearish-but-not-near-enough-for-day-trips friends.
9. Find a way to make my giant, nosy family less intimidating to non-family

So! What have I acheived?
Skating goals:

1. Get back on track with the whole fitness thing.

yes and no. I am on and off about working out regularly

2. Learn to stop on skates without falling down or gliding to a stop, inertia-style, before January is over.

DONE!

3. Get low and learn to turn so I can actually skate in a circle before the end of January.

Done nd also not done. I can skate in a circle, but I can’t do crossovers consistently yet.

4. Skate a minimum of 4 times a week.

3 times is close…

5. Learn to skate backwards.

not yet

6. Make it into Meat Camp and pass WFTDAs

meat camp tryouts haven’t been announced, but are expected soon!

Non-skating goals:

1. Don’t keep people who make me feel like crap in my life.

Mostly. I’ve also made strides to non-accusatorily (totally a word!) talk to them about it in order to prevent needing to go this far.

2. Also, don’t make a big deal about getting rid of those people

yes.

3. Get a job that pays well enough that I can stop relying on others for money

not yet.

4. Get a job I love. (Ideally, the same one as the above job!)

yes and no–the jobs I have are jobs I love. but they’re not permanent, which was part of the intent.

5. Rebuild my savings

no…

6. Pay off credit card, at least one of my student loans

no…

7. Make sure the people who don’t make me feel like crap know how much I love them, all the time. (I’f you’re in my life, and it’s because I want you around rather than because we share office space or whatever, I love you.)

yes, but I can still do this more!

8. Take 1 non-family trip, whether it is the Big Continent Tour I have been planning (unlikely), a graduation present trip to Europe (hopefully!!) or a weekend visiting semi-nearish-but-not-near-enough-for-day-trips friends.

not yet, but soon!!

9. Find a way to make my giant, nosy family less intimidating to non-family

sorta? the best I can do is to break the mass up into smaller chunks

Today is studying. I’m also gonna try to get some dishes done, and I want to make pork fried rice. All I need to do is chop the scallions and do the cooking, so it should be pretty quick. Plus, it’s probably healthier for dinner than, say, 5 doughnuts.

The after party on Saturday was very fun, though I didn’t stay too long because The Boy wasn’t feeling well and went home straight from the bout, and I wanted to spend some time with him. I left around 10. But before I did, I danced with Screwy and Dixie and danced and chatted with many fellow volunteers, got told by a cop (it was police week) that I had “the best uniform down there” (in the downstairs bar where our party was) despite not wearing a uniform, and mistakenly worried I was towed because I thought I parked on Louisiana when I actually parked on Delaware. I didn’t skate before the bout because the good lot was full of cars (WHAT? HOW DARE YOU PARK IN THE GOOD LOT) and my wheels for the bad lot are backordered. Thinking I won’t have them for this Saturday, either, which peeves me. Might see about canceling the order and getting aerobics instead of pulses, or getting the pulses from another retailer. Didn’t get much done Sunday, either, before heading out to mom and dad’s with The Boy (first meeting there-went well I think) for mother’s day, hard-won pie in tow.

Today is Hang With The Boy day on the post-work schedule. I look forward to it. Relaxing is needed.

I don’t yet have photos from Saturday’s bout, but here are some from the City VS Suburbs bout last month by Shutterthug!

Unfortunately for us, the tailgate and bout were at the same time/day as the DC101 Chili Cook-off at RFK Stadium (which is right next to the DC Armory). This could have potentially been great, because as people walk from the metro to RFK we could talk to them about coming by and checking out the bout, and we in fact did a bit of that. I was handing out parking passes to DCRG volunteers as they arrived, and a fair number of Chili Cookoff attendees talked to/with me, and I know many also stopped by the tailgate party. Unfortunately, the company that RFK and the Armory (?) contracted to manage parking were, well, not terribly cooperative. I am sympathetic to being the person who isn’t making the decisions but has to enforce them, but some of the employees were incredibly rude to our volunteers and fans, and whoever was calling the shots was an idiot. They refused to allow anyone in to our lot who did not have a parking pass (which meant our fans couldn’t park) and then the refused to let anyone in at all, regardless of parking pass, only repeated that their boss insisted they close the lot. I had to go inside to deal with my head bouncer duties around that time anyway, so I spoke to our rep from the Armory and let her know what was going on and she got it taken care of lickity split. She is awesome, you guys. However, not too long after, the police decided to block off all motor vehicle access to the armory and the lot in which we park. We still have no idea why. Rebecca got that taken care of as well, but we suspect it cost us in attendance.

Despite the smaller-than-we-had-hoped crowd, we did some serious business at the merch table, selling out of some products, and we had a few new volunteers and new fans in attendance. Also, I WON A PIE from Dangerously Delicious (chocolate cream). It was tough going at the silent auction table, because Bombshell Frightmare wanted that pie too! I wanted to be able to bring it home with me for Mother’s Day, however, and ended up victorious. I also chatted with a hopefully new fan who is from the Indianhead, MD area (I used to live down in Great Falls, so I would go by that area when going to and from Mom and Dad’s) and apparently makes some amazing pies. I hope he joins us when season 7 kickstarts!

Before we opened the doors to our fans, we got some photos done of the refs, NSOs, and the volunteers, courtesy James Calder, aka Shutterthug. In case you can’t tell, I am the one with the fez (and the rose that was one of many brought out by one of our regular volunteers, who has a very robust rose bush at home)

DCRG Volunteers, Photo copyright DC Rollergirls/James Calder from Roller Derby Saved My Soul