A lot of my time lately has been focused on house hunting. The Boy and I are looking to purchase a place. We started looking extremely casually earlier this year, but a couple weeks back we got a realtor and last weekend we toured some houses. It is really fun and also scary. Continue reading
you ever do that thing where you get in a really shitty mood for no real reason, or no obvious reason, you’re just irritated with everyone and want to hide in a book or a movie or writing, or yard work but you can’t hide so you’re mood keeps getting worse and worse, and then something happens that could help, like a song you love to sing along with comes on the radio or something. And you know you could take that first step toward feeling okay but you don’t want to. It’s not that you don’t want to feel better, and it’s not that you DO want to feel better but you just can’t bring yourself to take that first step. You’ve done it before, you’ve climbed that hill. But all that happens is that you’ll have to go down the other side at some point and you aren’t ready for that. So you just camp out where you are because it’s not getting better but it’s also not getting worse.
what is that thing?
Unrelated to that thing, when your psychiatrist asks about violent thoughts and impulses, what counts as normal and what counts as intrusive thoughts and what counts as something you should report?
Okay I didn’t mean to return to the blog today. I’ve been mentally composing posts for weeks. But today is when I did.
Today is exciting; the boy is starting a new position (same workplace) he is really excited about! I’m super excited for him, too.
I’ve been spending the day busily working and distracting myself with (surprisingly enjoyable!) internet arguments and random research. So I wouldn’t have to think about today.
Today is an anniversary. But not the kind you celebrate. Last year on this day Meredith died.
This was an exciting and fun-filled weekend! And also I broke a fence. With my body. (I’m pretty much fine, don’t worry.)
This was not how I was planning on making a return to blogging. Also I was gonna do it like two weeks ago, because I volunteered as an NSO at the DCRG home opener and I figured that’s as good a reason to start back up as any.
Before I get to the main bit, which is full of bad feelings, here’s some good feelings! Return to here when you’re done reading to bulk back up on positivity:
When leaving the MARC station lot, I let some dude out into the road that bisects the lot. He waved and I thought “no big deal, just pay it forward” and as I was thinking that, he was letting out someone else who in turn let someone else out. So we were a whole road of positivity! Which was needed because my morning at the MARC station was NOT full of positivity.
It blizzarded here over the weekend but we have survived. The Boy and I are ridiculously sore from shoveling (I couldn’t sleep last night until I had 600 mg of ibuprofen AND iced my wrist with my ankle icewrap) but we’re doing pretty well.