Derby 101 and Excuses.

First off, I want to share my excitement about having registered for the DC Rollergirls Derby 101 Clinic! Yes, I paid 12 bucks I can ill afford to have my ass kicked for 2 hours. Maybe all the masochism jokes we level at E on twitter are pointed in the wrong direction….

Also, apropos of absolutely nothing, I look wicked hot today. Figured it’s never a bad plan to revel in that.

My computer, at 8 am yesterday, decided it didn’t need USB ports. It had already been having issues with the monitor, where if I left it off for an hour or longer, it would blink on and off for several minutes. After a sufficient number of blinks, it would stop if I hit the start key, but it had to go for a bit-just hitting the key right off was useless. I know when the ports went out because I was able to use my keyboard, suspending the blinking, then I got up and left the computer, then came back and could not use my mouse. I assumed the CPU was occupied with other things and I’d deal with it later, but when I got home, it was still borked. Checked other ports, checked other devices, changed the batteries in the mouse and keyboard (they’re wireless)…got nothin. So I dunno how regularly I can update when not on my lunch break.

Work has been a little frustrating today; I want to do my job, and keep getting told I can’t, for one reason or another. I have pressure to do certain things from the same people who say I can’t do them. Very frustrating. I will have to figure out how best to handle it.

It’s Tuesday, so here’s that poem I wrote last week:

Chimera

Sometimes when I lay my head down
I catch a hint of your scent.
If I try to wallow in it, burying
my nose in the pillow or the sheets
it is gone, a ghost too weak to haunt my dreams
let alone my reality
but if I relax and let it
wash over me
it grows bolder, cavorting about as if it were a puppy
with a favorite toy.

The longer it lingers, the more I notice
the phantom pressure of your back against mine
as though you were there curled up
as we so often fall asleep.
I want to reach my hand back to the top of your thigh
resting it there as I do in life
the pressure as reasuringly there as if
I were not alone under the sheet
but I know if I do, the illusion will burst
a delicate soap bubble shredded into rainbows,
the flame out, only smoke remaining, rising,
curling up by the ceiling until it reforms as
a new fragile sphere
particles of smoke suddenly bursting into wings
a rainbow of delight
that could have lulled me to my rest
had I only let it.

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7 Comments

Filed under bitching, Blog business, creativity, derby, life in general, personal shit

7 responses to “Derby 101 and Excuses.

  1. Really fabulous poem, Mels. Kinda reads like Sharon Olds, (which to my mind is an enormous compliment). And you ALWAYS look hot, girl!

  2. There’s an errant comma after “…Sharon Olds”. It got away from me while I was fixing my hair.

  3. At least you’re masochistic For Justice. Or, well, For Derby, anyway. I pretty much just wander into it aimlessly.

    Poem was great, Mels. I’m really glad it’s new, because that means you’re writing again, and that means I can make a ‘Yay’ type sound. I just did it. I’ll do it again next time, too.

    Because I have all the verse appreciation skills of a twelve year old, I will simply pull out a line that really stuck: “a delicate soap bubble shredded into rainbows”. That was very lovely.

  4. I’m writing when I can, but the problem is that my most creative time is right as I am falling asleep :/

    The Boy showed me a bunch of photos that were taken of soap bubbles as they were being popped, and they really do shred! So it’s not so much poetic talent as pointing out a reality few people are aware of. But thank you! I knew a poem about smelling my boyfriend would have to use it when HE’S the one who showed it to me in the first place.

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