Last night I got my stuff for Deja Bruise (the skaters and pit crew end of season party, which has a 50s theme this season.) I had been very excited about this, because as a former theater-kid, I like dressing up in previous era’s styles, and also I missed last year’s, and I love partying with my derby friends. What could be better than combining roller derby, partying, and dressing up? NOTHING. So I bought myself some things in preparation for the party from a vintage and vintage-inspired shop online. I should have known right away it was all too good to be true, because they called the day I put the order in to tell me that the crinoline I ordered was out of stock and they didn’t know if they’d get it in time for my event (part of the order form asks if there is a specific date you need the items for.) They suggested I get the next shorter size and wear it a little farther down my hips.
The box arrived on Tuesday, but I asked my neighbor to grab it because I wasn’t getting home until late on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I didn’t get to see it until last night. I was SO excited! I took a picture of the box. Then of the open but otherwise undisturbed box. I noticed there were 2 hair flowers instead of the 1 I ordered. I shrugged it off, not too worried. I tried on the shoes (which were on mega-sale!) and was delighted with them. I pulled out the dress and the crinoline. I tried on the dress. It wouldn’t zip over the point of my back where the bra strap sits. I tried with two different belly-sucking-in shorts and with a full body-suck-in slip. No dice. Very disappointed, but not too upset. Decide to try the crinoline with it anyway, to see if it would have worked. Spoiler alert: nope. I’d have had to wear it with the waist around the fullest part of my ass to have it anywhere close to the right length, and I wanted it to peek out just below the hem. So disappointment number two. Start looking into returning the items. I swear I read the return policy before ordering but somehow I missed a few things, namely that two of the three things I wanted to return were unreturnable (the extra hair flower and the crinoline.) Disappointment 3.
I know that this is not, in the grand scheme of things, that big of a deal. It just isn’t. But with so many disappointments lately, with failing my comps and issues at work and hurting myself to the point where I might not get to try out for roller derby, I was really hanging some high hopes on this party, and to have them fucked up with before the party even happens was very last straw-ish in my ability to handle disappointment. I pouted extensively on twitter and a bit on facebook, too, and now I’ve pouted here (after returning from the post office where I mailed off the dress, at least, to get a refund.) I picked out a new dress from another website (because theirs are less expensive) and hopefully it works. I’m going to try to sell the crinoline and hair flower and get a new, cheap, correct length crinoline with the proceeds, so the money doesn’t just go down the drain. It’s all handled. But some of the shiny has worn off.
Also, I have a brain full of things that are not, strictly speaking, within the wheelhouse of the blog, so I thought I’d ask you if you want to read my thoughts on them before I word-barf them all over the internets. They’re all sort of intertwined, so I don’t know if it would be 1 post or multiples, but it’s all stuff about honesty and communication and relationships. This brainful is because of stuff in my own life and also because of the polyamory/threesome episodes of Sex Nerd Sandra’s podcast (which you should listen to-the whole series of podcasts are really interesting and often funny and totally sex positive, which I think is a good, feminist thing, since they’re against slut-shaming and all that, and it has helped me understand more about non-cis-gendered* people as well, which is good for openness and understanding and not shunning and stuff and often can be related to both feminism and LGBTQ issues (duh)) SO! Do you want to read my rambling and still-working-it-out thoughts on these things, or no?
*cis-gendered, for those of you who don’t know the term, are people who were born the gender they identify as.
Edited to add: This is the photograph I took of the crino (I have a buyer for the hair flower already) which is a bit more orange on my screen than it actually appears in real life, and this is the link to the product info and the color looks more like what it is in real life than it does in my photo, at least on my screen. $40 or best offer.