Betrayal Most Foul

The plan for this weekend was: Derby Level 2 Assessment, clean apartment, watch Charm City vs Philly today, and see Brave with the other Freshies tomorrow.

The reality of today was:
Get about halfway through the assessment, break leg, go to hospital.

Despite the fact that I definitely screamed a bit, Ms. Judgement and Chinese Cheker both assured me that I took it like a champ (though I think they’re just being nice, I appreciate it anyway!) I was frustrated with myself–I didn’t think about the fact that the floor at Temple Hills is sticky and my outdoor wheels would not be good on them, so my stops were not as smooth as they normally are, and I fell a few times when getting up from falls, but I was started to adjust, and I did some really good 180 falls (when you go down on one knee and spin on it, so you can get up and go in the opposite direction). When they set up for hops, I was excited, because they’re lots of fun. I watched Freshie K go, and then it was my turn. First hop was really a step, and I was determined to do better with my second. Instead, my right leg snapped near my ankle and I collapsed.

Things are simultaneously fuzzy and really clear from this point until the EMTs showed up. I was yelling like a banshee, possibly swearing, and definitely panicked. I didn’t hear a snap, but I knew it was broken. Feet don’t go 90 degrees to the right when they’re properly attached. I thought my ankle itself snapped! Someone, brusquely but not cruelly, said something to the effect of “stop freaking out” (I don’t remember exactly what it was, but it was definitely a “shut up with the screeching” sort of thing, which was definitely necessary) and then I was surrounded by girls who needed to help. I can’t remember if it was Hooah!Girl or Ms. Judgement, because like I said it’s fuzzy, but one of them was next to my head asking questions and keeping me from hyperventilating once I stopped yelling and started crying. Another skater loosened my skate on the injured leg and removed the one from my uninjured one, and got my pads and helmet off. (I honestly only remember bits of that–I have no idea when the helmet went at all, or if more than one person was helping me out of my gear.) Deadly Lamarr got my purse with my cell and my insurance card and ID and made sure I had ahold of it for when the EMTs took me away, and before she gave it to me she called The Boy, who was my emergency contact, to let him know what had happened.

The EMTs took off my skate, warning me that it would hurt a bit (“I know!” I tearfully nodded, but it was not anywhere NEAR as bad as I thought it would be) and they got me on the stretcher (which was WAY WORSE than I thought it would be) and my last view of the rink was a lot of somber faces who applauded me and wished me well as the EMTs rolled me away. I love those ladies.

The ride was not awesome, but I tried to make jokes and be less miserable between incredibly jouncy bumps, and I got to ride with the siren on! I’ve been in an ambulance 2 other times, but never with the siren. I joked around a bit and learned the EMTs names, and I told them a bit about roller derby. I needed something to squeeze, but they didn’t have any stressballs or anything like that, so they gave me a package of bandages to mangle. I thanked them all by name once they got me in my room at the hospital, but I forgot to find out what fire station they work out of, so I am not sure how to get a thank you note to them. :/

They were eager to get some pain relievers into me before doing anything else, so Nurse Jackie, who was not, in fact, a white lady on television, got my chart started and Kenny got my blood drawn (in case I needed same day surgery) and then Jackie gave me some morphine (way too little, IMHO, but I understand why they would start small with that) then I got x-rays done.

When I came back from that, there was a facebook post from Chinese Cheker which asked me to tell someone to let her come back because she was in the waiting room. I did, and I also used a bedpan for the first time before she was allowed back. It was thrilling let me tell you. She kept me company and kept my mind off the worst of the pain and was generally a fabulous person. They gave me more drugs, but they didn’t really have any effect at all, and then they gave me even more because they needed to shift things around to splint my leg. That was not awesome. They were just starting that when The Boy arrived, and he was not happy about the noises I was making. Checker was holding my hand and I quickly insisted The Boy hold my other, and I did a lot of squeezing and also some whimpering and squealing in pain, and also I said FUUUUUUUUUCK in a surprisingly calm voice at one point, making Cheker laugh. Once that was done, we got some end of the visit stuff taken care of, including signing paperwork and getting my crutches and stuff. Cheker wheeled me out and David carried lots of stuff to the car and brought it ’round, and they helped me in and we went home with a stop at BK on the way (since I hadn’t eaten since 7:30 and it was like 2.)

You’d think that’d be the end of it, but oh no, I had to keep it up! I got out of the car okay, and I got from the street to the sidewalk okay (though it was difficult, because of the curb) but when we got to the (broad, shallow) steps in front of my building, I couldn’t do it. Then I started getting dizzy. Then I was laying on the ground, because you guys, I totally passed out! Not even like tunnel vision it’s getting darker passing out, but literally one second I was standing and the next I was rising out of a dream and groggily asking why I was on the ground and did I fall down? The Boy tells me that he gently lowered me to the sidewalk and then started shouting for help, and when I woke up several of my neighbors were around. One of the women from the leasing office brought out a chair and they helped me into it (because laying on the pavement when its 102 Fahrenheit outside is not really a good idea) and then there was a wet towel and an ice pack and lots of water being poured on me (carefully, to avoid wetting the splint) and waiting for EMTs to arrive. I didn’t want them called, because I didn’t want to go back to the hospital, but fortunately, I was okay and didn’t have to go back.

They got a collapsible wheelchair from the ambo and got me into the lobby, then asked me questions and took my vitals before having me sign papers saying that I refused transport to the hospital and taking me up to my apartment. I got their names too (Anthony, Carlton, and Andy) and their fire station, so I will bring them something when I’m feeling better. I also invited them to next week’s All-Stars bout, heh. All the EMTs seem pretty fascinated by the idea of roller derby.
So that was my day, when my body kept betraying me. Comma and Pants came over in the evening, after The Boy returned to his place (fretting all the while about leaving me alone, bless him, and after he had already done my dishes and cleaned the litter box and taken out the trash! Lots of boyfriend points, you guys.) The official diagnosis in not-super-jargony terms is a tib/fib break, because I broke both the tibia and fibula, both close to my ankle but one a bit higher up than the other. Both were pretty clean breaks. I have an appointment with an orthopedic doctor to find out if I need surgery (95% of tib/fib breaks do) and schedule it if necessary and all that. On facebook, twitter, via email, texts, and phone calls, I got an outpouring of love and support and offers of help from friends and most of the league, which moved me to tears more than once today. I am so glad I found all these wonderful women, who never stop surprising me with their generosity and talents.

Dunno if I’ll be blogging lots more for a bit, due to boredom, or less due to time crunch, or the same due to a return to routine soon, but I hope you’ll bear with me as I recover from my second big derby injury.

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10 Comments

Filed under AUGH INJURIES, Blog business, derby, derbylove, health

10 responses to “Betrayal Most Foul

  1. Mels, that is unbelievable. I can only imagine what you went through – and are going through now. I hope the medication has kicked in and that you are now sleeping soundly for a lengthy time. I also hope that someone is staying with you, especially at night.

    Take care. No more falling down or passing out!! I’m sending lots of healing energy and good thoughts your way.

    • Thanks, honey. I was feeling pretty okay–in pain but not unmanageable–until I tried to sleep. When I fall asleep, my legs twitch a bit as they relax, and normally its not so bad but with the breaks, it would cause a flare up of pain which would wake me up, and seemed to use up some of the allotted pain reliever (obviously, I have no idea how pain relievers really work, but if 1 pill was fine for 6 hours, 2 pills should have been better for that time, and they definitely weren’t, because of the flare ups!) It’s embarrassing to say, but this morning I was in so much pain I couldn’t get up to go to the bathroom and wet myself on the couch.

      Rachel and I have been DMing and she encouraged me to call my PCP’s office to see if I could get a higher dose (no-they can’t cal in narcotics) or take extra just to get me through until tomorrow when I see the ortho (I didn’t think to ask during the first call, so I’m waiting for her to call back again-hopefully the answer is ‘yes, just this once’ or something because I am NOT comfortable right now, and I don’t want to have to go back to the ER, because no one is here to unlock the door or put clothes on my lower half.)

      I’m wicked sleepy so I’ve been doing this half sleep thing that doesn’t get to the point where I twitch but does let me rest a little bit, so it’s better than nothing, but there have been a LOT of frustrated tears this morning.

  2. Dumb question but would an ice pack help numb up the pain in your leg at all to help you sleep? I’ve never broken anything so I can’t speak from experience.

    And I think it might have been Hoo-ah asking you questions because Ms. Judgement was helping to get your stuff together and whatnot so Beth could take your car home…but then again Hooah also pulled those of us taking the assessment aside so we weren’t all staring at you on the floor but that might have been when the EMTs were getting your skate off (I specifically remember hearing your tearful “I know”).

    Seriously cannot express enough how sorry I am for you and your leg. 😦

    • It would, if I could get it close enough–the splint is too thick, I think, to allow an ice pack to make much difference right now. I’ll ask Fierce when she gets here, though, because this is the same kind of break she just got over, so she’ll have more experience with that stuff.

      Dude, I would have been staring at me on the floor if I could have 😉 Like I said in the post, I was both really aware of stuff and really fuzzy on stuff, so most people’s identities, especially the ones I don’t know very well, just went right out of my brain.

      Other than the sleeping issues, I’m mostly doing awesome. I mean, I’m in more pain right now than I was yesterday evening, but it isn’t killing me or anything and I’m okay to lay here til Fierce gets here and can help me out at least. Most of my problems are psychological, honestly. I HATE that I have to rely on people (though I love that everyone is so willing to help, it makes me feel so loved) to do super simple stuff like unlock my door or stop my cats from eating my ER id bracelet :/ I don’t mind asking people for stuff when they’re here, but having to ask people to come over and take care of stuff feels rude, like I’m taking advantage, even though if it was someone else I would be insisting on them letting me come over and do stuff. I’m just messed up in the head I guess 😉 Rumor has it that this 2 bone break actually heals really quickly, so there’s a bright side at least–I didn’t damage the muscles much, or if I did the doc didn’t say anything about it, so the healing time should be relatively short. I might even be able to try out if not in september, than in the next tryout session. Once I get over my sudden fear of lateral hops 😉

  3. cabri

    Oh Mels, you should not be alone! 😦 Forget about being a burden and get people up there in relays so there’s always someone to help.

    Hopefully your PCP can sort out the pain meds. You need the sleep!

    • Fierce is coming! And mostly I am okay by myself, I can get to the bathroom (or could last night anyway) and feed the cats myself and all that. when fierce gets here and takes care of me, I’ll get some sleep in, and then I’ll be much better. I got the okay to do 3 percs tonight to sleep, as long as I don’t abuse the privilege. (they’re more concerned about the tylenol liver damage than the addictive qualities, apparently) I really don’t need people here 24-7. Although I think I will email my nextdoor neighbor and get their phone numbers so if there is a middle of the night emergency I can call someone close by.

  4. Most foul. Most foul indeed. I’m with Cabri: Don’t be shy about asking for people to come by. Whether your need them or not physically, being alone after an injury can be extra-miserable. Though I understand if you want some time along, too; I certainly would. If you get bored and need a chat, you’ve got my number. Call any time. Keep us updated once you get the assessment. I hope you don’t need surgery, but if you do: recover well and quickly. I mean it about calling, too. Don’t hesitate.

    ::hugs::

    A million times.

    But carefully, so I don’t bump the leg, because I’m a klutz and I’ve got to watch out for that kind of thing.

    • I’ve definitely asked a couple people, and it helps that there have been TONS of offers, too. right now I just want to cease existing for a bit, until things are less painful. If someone else is here when I do, thats fine I guess.

  5. Son. Of. A. BITCH.

    Since I’m sure you haven’t said it yourself, I’ll say it for you: this sucks ultradonkeyballs.

    I’ve been thinking of you constantly since yesterday, hoping the pain is subsiding, hoping your mental is holding up, sending you good energy and healing.

    And for the record, people *love* your ass (I mean, your actual ass [HOTTTTT!!!!] and your colloquial ass, too) so DO NOT feel bad about asking for help. I’m pretty sure breaking your leg — in two places — qualifies you for Justified Friendial Help for *at least* a couple weeks. If I was there, I’d be bringing you breakfast every morning, and even — no, seriously! — helping you with that lovely bedpan to save your couch. I’m just sorry I’m 3,000 miles away. Next time you decide to break something, do it on the west coast, okay?

    Also, please keep us all updated — you have so many online peeps who care about you and will help in any way we can.

    Much love,
    -m-

    • I didn’t use that EXACT phrase, but you can bet your bottom dollar I’ve bitched a LOT.

      I’ll post about how today went when I finish this comment, but let’s just go with “mixed bag” for now. Thank you for the good energy and healing, I definitely appreciate it.

      I know, Comma was saying the same thing “We like having you around!” but I still feel bad about letting people take care of me more than absolutely necessary. It’s silly but it’s the way I am. Also, I don’t PLAN on breaking anything, ever.

      I am definitely okay with updating y’alls. You know me, any excuse to talk about myself!

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