It’s fresh meat draft day for DCRG. It’s the day I’ve been working toward for around a year now. Except not, because I have had to put my progress on hold for the past four months. Technically, I’m still working toward it, but if my progress were on a timeline, all derby stuff got moved way to the right and a bunch of “learn to walk again” shit got shoved in the middle. I’m feeling pretty bittersweet about today, much like I have about derby stuff for the past few months. I’m thrilled for my freshie friends. They’ve all worked amazingly hard to get where they are, whether that is in the running to be drafted or not, and whether or not they get drafted, I am proud of them. I just wish I was part of the nervous excitement.
Instead, I’m nervous about comps. Well, sort of. I mean, some part of me is obviously having the biggest freak out of a lifetime about them, because I only got 3-4 hours of sleep Monday night and Tuesday night. But I don’t feel nervous. I am a good paper writer, and I don’t have the pressure of memorizing the citations this time. I know the material. The only reason I should be nervous is how important the exam is. But I don’t feel nervous. I wanted to have a good night’s sleep last night, so I took an ambien with more than 8 hours to go before I had to wake up. I ended up sleeping through two alarms going off at regular intervals from between 7 am and 10:15. (at some point before 10:15 they stopped going off, but I dunno when exactly. Obviously.) Even when I woke up, I was all groggy and sleepy and not wanting to get up. This hasn’t happened to me with this stuff before (I rarely take it, and it’s a super low dose, but I’ve only ever woken refreshed after 8 hours, not slept forever and/or been groggy.) So I was late to work, which made me extra grumpy.
Also, my leg is just baffling me. On Tuesday I was almost limp-free when on flat surfaces, and still pretty close to that going down hill. Minor limping going up hill. And I could walk down stairs normally without a weird hop when my weight would be on my right leg. Since then, levels have all risen to varying degrees. Nothing hurts any more than normal, swelling also varies, but doesn’t seem to correlate to pain. Pain is all muscular–not in the bone itself, definitely in the muscles complaining of long disuse. That’s the only consistent thing about the injury at this point. It’s very annoying. See the ortho tomorrow before I start working on my comps, so hopefully he can tell me if this is normal and start me on an approved PT regimen (I’m still sneaking my PT. I can even do static squats, although not for long. I know they’re for glutes/thighs, but they use your ankle/calf muscles a lot too)
anyway I am in full grump, and I need to not be, so give me things to degrumpify–note: cat bounce freezes my work comp. and because it is older than god, probably my home comp too.