The light is dying; do I care enough to rage against that?

I’ve been feeling not-well since Sunday. I took yesterday off.

I saw the psychiatrist Monday, who suggested we increase the dosage of my migraine-preventative, which happens to be an anti-depressant, in an attempt to prevent migraines AND better prevent depression issues. I saw a therapist Tuesday, and took the afternoon off for recovering of not-well-feeling. We managed to schedule two therapy appointments and another psychiatrist appointment before my insurance from work goes away. She wanted me to do intensive outpatient, but I don’t have 9 hours a week during weekday mornings to sacrifice to it, so it is off the table at this point.

Yesterday afternoon, my phone rang and it was the assistant dean letting me know that I did not pass my comps. Again. I met with him today (I had him for a class, before, he’s very nice) to discuss where we go from here. The school policy is that after two attempts at comps, you are removed from the program unless you successfully appeal to the dean. The assistant dean is working on getting me the specifics of how that works. Meanwhile, I have to decide if I want to appeal, and what I would base my appeal on.

I did a lot of crying yesterday. Today I feel kind of numb. Shortly before my meeting with the assistant dean, I was contacted by my poc at a temp/contract/direct hire company for library services about a 4 year contract position doing records management. They were interested because of my work experience and my MLS. I had to tell her I wouldn’t be getting my MLS, and explained that though I won’t have the degree I do have the experience of the classes and I did well in them, citing my gpa. Hopefully, they’ll still want to interview me.

I don’t know if I should continue working toward the MLS or not, or what I would do otherwise. I have some serious rage that I did all the work and did it well, but I didn’t pass a test so it’s all somehow invalidated.

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Filed under heavy shit, Job hunting, MLS, personal shit

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