I know you want to know what the doctor said, but I haven’t been yet, it’s an afternoon appointment. I’m going a bit early to get an x-ray, and tomorrow I’m getting an MRI done to see if there’s any nerve damage causing bladder issues (though there probably isn’t, because the doc totally poked my taint with a piece of plastic and I felt it and OH MY GOD WHO POKES SOMEONE IN THE TAINT?) because I am an old lady who goes to bed early and has bladder issues and kidney stones and hey you kids, get off my lawn! So it’s a big radiological weekend for me.
The DC Rollergirls are gonna be at the Rocket Bar tonight, raising funds and raising hell. Buy a jello shot, arm wrestle a rollergirl, or challenge one to a game of pool, while you wait for the snow to stop falling. There might even be leg wrestling, which you do NOT want to miss.
I fell off the wagon on eating and hydrating properly. I’d like to say it happened over the holidays, because that’s totally normal and wasn’t that long ago, but it really happened when I broke my leg and never got fixed. Until now. I have a 20 ounce bottle I bring to work and I drain it between 9 and 12, refill and drain between 12 and 3, and then again between 3 and 6. If this doesn’t happen, I can’t have any other liquids. I like things that have flavor (juice, beer, chocolate milk) so if I want them, I gotta do this first. When I saw the doc who poked me, she had me do labwork too, and it turns out my cholesterol and sugar are borderline-high. I can’t reduce refined sugars. I can’t. I mean, I could, but I would hate everything and everyone forever and ever. If I have some chocolate in the house, I can usually control my portions pretty well, but the second someone is like “you need less sugar” my boy craves it in massive amounts and I binge until there is no more chocolate in the county. So I’ve decided to focus on the cholesterol for now, until I figure out a solution to that. I’ve added fruit into my diet (apples reduce cholesterol, apparently, and grapes are just delicious and trigger none of my weird food-texture issues that keep me from eating so many fruits) and am trying to increase my intake of oatmeal (not hard, it’s been months since I made any! I had some instant on Monday, but that’s not real oatmeal.)
Basically I can’t concentrate on writing a real blog post because I want to know if I can skate again yet. LET ME SKATE, LET ME SKATE, OH MY GOD LET ME SKATE.
I’m going to pee for the 50 billionth time and then I’m leaving for the doctor. Do whatever voodoo you feel you must in order to help convince my ortho to let me start skating again. Please. Or I might poke you all in the taint with a piece of plastic.