First time as an NSO: I kept score for the Free State Black-Eyed Suzies and the Iron Mountain Iron Maidens bout. It was my first time, duh, and I thought I was going to be penalty timing, so it was a bit confusing initially, but one of the NSOs explained what I’d be doing (Free State isn’t a WFTDA league, it’s USARS, so there was a slight difference with score and stats tracking–lead jammer loses lead status if she goes to the box, and they track that) but mostly it was a lot easier than I thought it would be and I had a great time.
everything else: you know how out of control you felt when you were 15? You’d go from ecstatic to miserable in the blink of an eye? Me without meds is like how it feels to be 15, amped up to 11, ALL THE TIME. I’m 32 fucking years old, I just want to stop being broken. I know how to manage it, but to do so I have to, you know, have money. I’m working on getting patient assistance to get meds again now that I have no income in, but in the meantime I have to deal with people who think I’m being unreasonable for not being happy all the fucking time. I HAVE NO JOB, NO INSURANCE, AND MY BODY CHEMISTRY IS FIGHTING ME ALL THE TIME. YOU FUCKING BE HAPPY, I AM TOO BUSY TRYING TO SURVIVE.