So if you have met The Boy, you know he is a tiny stick figure of a man who weighs about the same I do (which sort of makes me feel gigantic and sort of makes me giggle) and I think he only weighs the same as I do because he has a teeny tiny adorable little beer belly beginning. (Mine is bigger and laughs at his in a jolly but slightly condescending way. Heh.) He hurts himself often, in simple ways, like by sleeping, or catching his fainting girlfriend, or holding a container of ham so it doesn’t spill in the passenger seat of my car. Today, after tweaking a back muscle in his sleep, he lamented that he didn’t know why this keeps happening.
The Boy: whatever it is sucks
dunno why this shit randomly happens
me: because you’re out of shape.
The Boy: perhaps
me: I love you as you are and you don’t have to work out for me but that’s why. your muscles end up doing things they aren’t prepared for and then they hurt a lot
The Boy: obviously i pulled it somehow
just not in an expected/manly way (like lifting large boxes filled with guns)
The Boy: or hoisting something
hoisting is so manly
Now, you can be a skinny mini and be fit. You can be a round person and be fit. (Look at those photos of olympic medalists and world champs!!!) But if your muscles are like “fuck, rolling over is HARD, man” then you are not fit, regardless of your body shape. The problem with that is, well, see above re: OW. You shouldn’t need to warm up to go to bed, or drive home from Thanksgiving! (Especially not the latter!!) I don’t want to be in shape because my mom thinks my ass is too wide (though she would like me to have a narrower ass. Why, I don’t know, but whatever.) I want to be in shape so I can kick ass on the track. And, as an added bonus, so I don’t wake up unable to turn my head because I strained it by sleeping. When I wake up with aches and pains, it’s gonna be because I earned them!
THIS SATURDAY! The LAST DCRG Bout of 2013!!!!!! DO NOT MISS IT! Saturday, Dec 14th, doors open at 3, action at 4, $15 to get in, at the DC Armory. Additionally, the December, January, and February bouts are our busiest bouts, and we need more volunteers! Two hours of “work”* and you get in free for hours of entertainment! Get free snacks! Watch derby! Sign up here!
*selling merch, taking tickets…it’s easy peasy