always teeny tiny itty bitty eensie weensie micro-mini baby steps.
So this weekend was all kinds of mixed bag. The Boy and I both made assumptions about our plans. My assumptions were different than his. We were both upset. But we worked it out. And working it out is good. And we’re stronger now and that is good.
I’ve been on the paxil for a week now. It is helping with my mood generally. I feel better most of the time than I have been feeling. Again, it’s probably placebo effect, we’ll see in a few weeks more. When things happen that are more upsetting than the usual stuff, though, I am still a big mess. I am going to ask my therapist for more information on hospitalization when I see her tomorrow, because it’s something I might want to do in the future, and I want to know more about it. Right now it is only the vaguest of notions coupled with the concern of who will care for my cats, and my research-foo has not turned up much helpful information as of yet. Having more of an idea of where, and when, and how long (average, of course, since it all depends blah blah) would be helpful. I was very much interested in this on Sunday when, after I sent the total for bills for the upcoming month to my folks, who you may recall offered to cover my bills rather than have me move home, I received a list of jobs in the area. Not links to the announcements, no context, just a list of job titles and the employers offering them. (I looked into them today, and they’re all looking for someone way more experienced than I am, too.) I took this context-less list pretty hard. It felt like a judgement, a “stop mooching and wasting time and get a job” chastisement. I cried a lot. I did some work for my volunteering gig (stuff I could do at home) and calmed down, but was still very upset. I decided to call my dad and explain how the email made me feel and ask that he try not to do it anymore. This did not go anywhere near as well as my conversation with The Boy. I don’t know if it helped anything or not.
BftC has a bunch of flood-damaged photos, so I spent today dealing with them (not all of them, because I do not have unlimited space for preservation purposes). I was only at BftC for 30 minutes or so, most of the work was done at home, because it requires a large amount of space. So far I’m about 25% done with that portion of the project. Later this week I plan to tackle cd- and dvd-rs and !!floppy discs!! (omg!) and digitizing VHS tapes starts next week.
On Saturday I will be driving to Downingtown, PA to visit family and introduce them to the magic of roller derby! DCRG will be playing against Brandywine and I am so excited. I know a bunch of people are driving up just to watch, too.