improving?

possibly? maybe? 

I meant to blog yesterday because I went skating again (although all the coconut water I’ve been downing has not, it seems, helped with the shin splints, so in addition to drinking all the coconut water and trying to rebuild my legs with workouts, I’m going to switch out my inserts again, from the antik ones to the fancy ones I paid lots of money for back when I had money to pay for things) but it seems that 90+ degree weather plus exercise = migraines even if you hydrate really well and have lots of protein and carbs after. So I napped instead. (and had terrible “it’s HOT” dreams, which I also had this morning, because I refuse to turn on the AC for more than a couple hours in the afternoon when it’s hottest because I’m FUCKING POOR and it multiplies my electric bill 7 and a half  to 15 times what it is the rest of the year/when I do not need AC (I have gas heat which is included in the rent, so I don’t have to pay a separate heating bill and even with my computers on all the time and lots of tv watching and such, I only use about 20-40 bucks worth of electricity a month without AC running) wow that parenthetical got away from me, lets start a new sentence.

So anyway. Skated. Sucked at it. Fell a lot. Had an audience (apparently some people like to go to the park and sit in the skate pavilion for lunch? bah.) I skated for an hour this time, so go me increasing time. I’m hoping to skate every tuesday and thursday while I’m jobless, to work out some stress (or build some up, as happened yesterday when I kept falling instead of stopping/weaving/turning) and get a routine. Tuesdays will probably always be in the afternoon, because of the timing of my therapy appointment (at least, unless I manage to bend my sleep schedule further to my will–right now I’m STARTING to wake up earlier, like I want, but then yesterday with the 3 hour go-away-migraine nap at 6pm sort of screwed that up a bit) and monday and wednesday I volunteer at/for BftC, leaving Friday as a sort of free day to get other shit done or further work on volunteer stuff. (I am, of course, also looking for/applying to jobs on all those days, and often doing chores as well, which should go without saying but oh, look, it didn’t)

I am out of my cymbalta and keep forgetting to call them so they can order it so I can get more (my pharmacy does not seem to keep records of pertinent informationou   about my prescriptions, like the fact that my insurance only pays for the brand name stuff, or that I will want more in a month because that is how it has been for months now, HELLO, or even, sometimes, that I have insurance (the last time I had to fill the Rx they didn’t have my insurance in the computer even though I’ve used this insurance several months in a row now to get my prescriptions. what? I don’t even know how you take someone’s insurance out of the system when you fill their prescription/between prescriptions, so whatever) so I need to make a big sign to remind me and I seem to be really committed to this run on sentence thing huh?

or I could remember that the pharmacy is open until 9 and call now….

And then be on hold FOREVER because they lost my insurance info AGAIN and I got upset. And then apologized to the girl on the phone because it’s (probably) not her fault. It worked out in the end, which is THE IMPORTANT THING (I’m yelling at me, not you guys) and I’ll have my meds on Friday after 2. (my insurance is super picky about when they’ll fill a new month, and what they’ll pay for, so it’s a huge ordeal to get it filled. which is why I kept putting it off. I hate dealing with it.) They somehow got my insurance information while I was on hold (I assume they called the insurance company and gave them my name and such and got it directly from them) so that’s good. Hopefully it’ll be in the record next month.

Oh but I wanted to be all focusing on the positive: my skating kinda sucks a lot (most everything is worse than it was) but I don’t need to practice falls at all, because I’m doing them right instinctively, yay. I’ve been contacted by recruiters (the one that got me a couple interviews at the World Bank and another through TRAK, which staffs libraries specifically with temp, temp to hire and permanent positions) about jobs and have gotten past the first step in the process for another job (getting past the computer that weeds out applicants) and the volunteer work I’m currently doing has resulted in my being put in the running for another position that a different TRAK recruiter needs to fill, too.

nothing earthshattering has happened, so I don’t know if this is just the same “I feel pretty good most of the time” or if it’s actual improvement, but I AM feeling good most of the time. Although, as I think I have mentioned before, I think I’m going to talk to the psych about the possibility of bipolar/bipolar II because I definitely am easy-to-irritate and that goes with mania/hypomania. The run on sentences that I can’t seem to stop doing (whether typing or talking) could be a sign of mania/hypomania too. But it’s hard because right now I feel I’m all self-diagnose-y which you’re not supposed to do and I thought I had mentioned the irritability before to her but I can never remember hard examples because for a lot of them once it’s passed, it’s past and I forget all about whatever it was. I’ve got two weeks til I see her again (the therapist is not the psych, but does communicate with the psychiatrist about me)

this seems really long so I’m just gonna stop

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Filed under I'm a nutter, Job hunting, mental health, skating, volunteering

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