Ugh. Everything is frustrating and terrible and the worst.

I had a very good weekend. It was like a tiny vacation from my life! but now I’m back in the crap. 

It’s been a month since my mom last spoke to me. A month. My dad won’t talk to me about her. He isn’t mad at me but he won’t get in the middle. My only interactions with my brother are facebook likes. My phone stopped working last week and the replacement was stolen because my mailman is an asshole who won’t respect my request that he not leave packages at my door when I’m not home. no word about the contracting position. too soon to hear about any other positions. I need to do stuff but I feel so crappy I keep trying to get one little thing to go right so I can start it feeling okay but nothing is helping so I keep not doing things which makes me feel shitty about myself. (Obviously the answer is to just do the stuff anyway, except I’m so fucked up that the second anything went the slightest bit badly I would freak out and break down.)

Maybe I should just go back to bed.


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Filed under I'm a nutter, mental health

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