Be kind to me, or treat me mean. I’ll make the most of it, I’m an extraordinary machine.

Went by my parents’ place today to get some stuff. They’re prepping for the yard sale, so there was a lot of stuff out. They gave me a lawn chair to sit in on the balcony. Hopefully I’ll have some time to do that during the pleasant weather while still working on my projects.

I sent an email to them yesterday, since mom seemed to want to avoid being home when I would show up earlier this summer. She actually replied to my email! Based on that and the visit, I think we’re both on the “be polite and civil but not particularly familial” page. When I got ready to go over there, I put on makeup (because she tend to comment on my skin), was ready to discuss my weight (another topic of some interest) and decided not to wear a belt (which is something that bugs her, because my pants slide down a bit, but I made sure when I got out of the car to pull them up to avoid that commentary). I went inside when I arrived, and dropped off some photos that belong to them and a cookbook I had borrowed from mom ages ago, then grabbed a few things. They said they would sell anything I didn’t want that was mine, which mostly amounts to my too-big bike, but I wanted to be sure to rescue my telescope. It turns out a couple years back we lent it to my cousins and I forgot. So it wouldn’t be sold anyway, yay! I don’t particularly have a place for it right now so I’m fine with them keeping it for a while.

I am borrowing some tools from dad, so we got those, and then I went in the yard to talk to my mom. (She was clearing out the shed.) I said hello, and happy early birthday (it’s this weekend), and complimented her earrings and her basil (which is growing really tall) and we talked briefly about a job opportunity. She offered me a lawn chair, as mentioned. Everything was a little awkward but pleasant. Which is okay by me. I’d like to have a better relationship with her than I had, or currently have, but the ball is in her court. At any rate, I left feeling pretty okay about how things currently stand between us (rather than angsty or ragey, which have been more common recently in this regard) so even if things never improve beyond this, I’m calling it a win. I was even more relaxed in the car driving! Normally I get pretty mad about crappy drivers doing stupid stuff and have to remind myself that they weren’t trying to harm/bother me and work at calming down.  This drive, when people did dumb stuff on the road, I would comment with mild frustration but no malice, and it didn’t stay with me after the incidents. I did honk at one guy, but dude was being a danger, cutting me off changing into my lane when I was passing him. And even then it wasn’t something I dwelled on.


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Filed under life in general, mental health, parents, personal shit

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