ugh

been sleeping late these several days off; not sure if it’s because I need to sleep more to heal up or if it’s the first sign of a new depressive episode, and if so, if it’s an actual depressive episode or just my body reacting to getting less and less paxil (I’m down to 2.5 mg a day) or if it even matters what’s causing it.

I’ve been handling setbacks and upsets a lot better generally, and have been doing really well emotionally the past several months. I haven’t had to rely on financial assistance from my parents since December. I’ve kept up my budgeting and things have been going well. Last week I learned that my apartment complex didn’t direct debit my rent, though. I know from past experience that they won’t take a personal check if it’s a late payment, so I went down to pay with my credit card. The policy has been changed so they can’t take credit cards at the leasing office (despite still having the CC swiper/keypad still hooked up to the computer!) They gave me an ID number so I could log in and do it from the website, but the number didn’t work, so I emailed the leasing office, got the information I needed (there were two 0s missing from the front of the number) but then STILL couldn’t pay. Apparently you have to set up your online account a month in advance in order to make a credit card payment. I won’t lie and say I didn’t burst into tears at this point, but I did only cry for like a minute. I sent an email to leasing but they never replied (I just sent another, because the one I sent yesterday was sent close to their lunch break, so I think they were planning on getting to it after lunch but then got distracted by other stuff, which is not unusual)…

today I got my monthly email reminder to pay my insurance, so I went to do that, but my bank account was frozen. They’re supposed to move money from my checking account to my credit card account but apparently haven’t for 2 months so rather than do it, they froze my accounts. Since I also had to pay for my cell phone service (monthly prepay, which meant I had no minutes left and could not call the bank) I couldn’t call to get it fixed. I definitely cried and panicked and sent emails marked URGENT to my dad and freaked out at The Boy. He found out how to make calls via Google Voice/Hangouts over wifi, so I called my parents, who answered the phone, were silent for 12 seconds and then hung up (what?! I don’t even know). I assumed it was broken so I called The Boy, but he could hear me fine and I could hear him. I told him what happened when I called my parents and he said it came up as unknown caller (my parents screen if they don’t know the number) but the machine didn’t pick up, so I don’t think it was a screening issue.

I used the cell phone app my bank put out to pay the credit card bill, but there was still a block on my account so I called using Hangouts and got that taken off and then paid some bills. Then I got an email from my dad telling me to use someone else’s phone to call, like I’m a 4 year old idiot who doesn’t know how to think, because apparently that’s what they think of me. I told him I wasn’t a moron, if there had been another phone available I would have used it (I went next door to borrow a phone but my neighbors who I know weren’t home and no one else answered the doors on my floor so either everyone is out or afraid of teary white girls)  but that I got it taken care of, no thanks to dad. then he sent an email saying that nothing was frozen and to call the cell phone company if my phone isn’t working because apparently I am still a moron (but at least I have basic reading comprehension!) so I reiterated that I got it taken care of. Now I just have to get my question about paying rent NOW taken care of. But I still feel really crappy.

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2 Comments

Filed under adulting, depression, freaking out, life in general, mental health, parents

2 responses to “ugh

  1. That’s enough to stress out even the calmness person. Thank goodness D was there to help you. Good luck with your rent thing.

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