first: got PT appointments scheduled finally! and today is Meredith’s birthday ❤
As mentioned earlier this week, I went to the hospital last week for depression. I had been in a depressive episode for a while but keeping my head above water, and then when Meredith died it was more like just keeping my nose above water. The morning I went to the ER, The Boy and I had a fight via IM (well, more like I had a fight and he was bewildered) and I spent a good hour or so quietly crying at my desk.
My boss came in late, and by the time he got in, I was just barely under control. I went up to ask him about working part time for a few weeks so I could focus on my mental health (he had mentioned it as a possibility when I was back after surgery) but it turns out that it’s not a possibility on the contract we are filling (though it may be on another contract). I mentioned both my depression and my suicidal thoughts when I asked, and I started crying again in his office. He asked me if I was okay to keep working (that day) and I said I was and went back to my desk. A little while later he called me up to his office. He had talked to EAP (Employee Assistance Program) and wanted me to talk to one of their counselors from his office (since I don’t have one, and thus no privacy) and I agreed. He called them, and then stepped out of the office so I could talk to the counselor. She really wanted me to go to the emergency room, and I agreed. We got off the phone just in time for me to go to lunch with a friend (which we had planned earlier) and after lunch I felt a lot more in control.
I probably could have gotten through this without emergency assistance. I’ve done it several times in the past 15 years. But I do admit that the hospitalization helped.
I told my boss what they wanted, and that I felt better, but he strongly encouraged me to go to the ER anyway. I called The Boy and had him come downtown to go to the ER with me and when he texted that he had arrived, my boss walked me out. We took the metro to the GWU hospital and got triaged and taken back quickly (around 5pm). And then waited FOREEEEEEVER. The Boy eventually went home to sleep, because he couldn’t sleep in the hospital and didn’t want to get to the point where he couldn’t get to his car because metro shut down or that he was too tired to drive. I saw the psychiatrist around 2 am, and they decided to transfer me sometime after that. I got transferred (via ambulance) around 7 am.
thus ends part 1. mostly because I’m tired of talking about it for the time being.