about Mels

Alterna-bio/fun facts about me courtesy of bioipsum:
Mels, fastest rapper in the world, now owns the only spaceship that can circle the solar system in under three months.
Mels is a firm believer in the fact that hot dog casing is what truly adds the flavor to the hot dog. She has been funded by multiple governments to create the most delicious hot dog casing known to man.
Mels, the best cat lobbyist, convinced the US Senate that the US Capitol needed to be more cat friendly. There are now 53 cat condos dedicated to Mels at the US Capitol.
Mels was the first to discover that anarchy time is in fact a real time differential. She refuses to release her research to stick it to the man.
Mels has perfected the art of llama calls. Her llama farm is now the largest farm in the country and she is set to add bison to her farm. When asked why she simply stated, “What else am I gonna do?”
Mels is a photographer, writer, musician, painter, illustrator, sculptor, actor, director, designer and an illustrator. She even does some of those things reasonably well.
Mels spent the last four years writing her thesis on The Wire. She has had her thesis published in three scientific journal and has moved to Baltimore with her wife and kids.
Pope Mels the IV decreed that all pillows must be filled with the finest cat fur. Pope Mels the IV later suffered an allergic reaction to her decree.
Mels has been the highest rated doctor in her hometown, mostly for her work in her understanding on unexpected orgasms.

Knowledge of the existence of bioipsum courtesy of Robyn Straley

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