Category Archives: personal shit

Learning to Tapdance

I think I’m dancing on the precipice of a depressive episode. It’s always hard to tell because at first it is just hard to get up, or I need more naps. That’s how it always starts. But there are plenty of times when it’s hard to get up for other reasons, or I nap because I stayed up too late and got up to early. So I haven’t said anything. Doing the wait and see.

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Filed under bipolar, depression, mental health, moody, personal shit, Uncategorized

Why I’m not attending the women’s march in DC tomorrow.

Let’s get this out of the way: if you are going, I think that’s awesome. I think it’s very important to demonstrate in a multitude of ways what you want from your government, and protests are a completely valid way to do so (not that you needed me to validate you!) However, I’m choosing to sit this one out.

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Filed under Anti-ableism, anti-classism, anti-racism, anti-rape culture, feminist, humanist, LGBTQ, personal shit, Uncategorized

Mango Madness Snapple-induced tears

This morning I started crying in a downtown Walgreens. Because of Mango Madness Snapple.

It’s weird how grief leaves you alone, you start to feel like you’re getting used to that emptiness, then it blindsides you out of nowhere.

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Good news, everyone!

The Boy and I have made an offer on a house, and it was accepted! For those of you who have not bought a house or looked into it, this means we have a month or two before we are actual home owners, and may not be home owners at the end of that time. We need the get the house inspected and the chimney inspected and then bargain for who will cover what repairs. If we don’t agree or the seller doesn’t agree, we don’t end up owning a house. There’s also a sort of built in waiting period. And our rental is month-to-month, but the condition on going month to month was that we’d give 2 months notice (the average time period is 1 month, both for notice and for getting all the inspections and bartering and paperwork and such done)

but still VERY EXCITING

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Filed under :D, life, personal shit

house shopping

A lot of my time lately has been focused on house hunting. The Boy and I are looking to purchase a place. We started looking extremely casually earlier this year, but a couple weeks back we got a realtor and last weekend we toured some houses. It is really fun and also scary. Continue reading

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Filed under life in general, personal shit

Come on thunder, come on thunder

you ever do that thing where you get in a really shitty mood for no real reason, or no obvious reason, you’re just irritated with everyone and want to hide in a book or a movie or writing, or yard work but you can’t hide so you’re mood keeps getting worse and worse, and then something happens that could help, like a song you love to sing along with comes on the radio or something. And you know you could take that first step toward feeling okay but you don’t want to. It’s not that you don’t want to feel better, and it’s not that you DO want to feel better but you just can’t bring yourself to take that first step. You’ve done it before, you’ve climbed that hill. But all that happens is that you’ll have to go down the other side at some point and you aren’t ready for that. So you just camp out where you are because it’s not getting better but it’s also not getting worse.

what is that thing?

Unrelated to that thing, when your psychiatrist asks about violent thoughts and impulses, what counts as normal and what counts as intrusive thoughts and what counts as something you should report?

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Filed under bipolar, mental health, personal shit

I don’t even know, you guys. I don’t even know.

This was not how I was planning on making a return to blogging. Also I was gonna do it like two weeks ago, because I volunteered as an NSO at the DCRG home opener and I figured that’s as good a reason to start back up as any.

Before I get to the main bit, which is full of bad feelings, here’s some good feelings! Return to here when you’re done reading to bulk back up on positivity:

When leaving the MARC station lot, I let some dude out into the road that bisects the lot. He waved and I thought “no big deal, just pay it forward” and as I was thinking that, he was letting out  someone else who in turn let someone else out. So we were a whole road of positivity! Which was needed because my morning at the MARC station was NOT full of positivity.

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Filed under -_-, bitching, FROWN, life, mental health, personal shit