Things have not been going well for me. this is gonna be long.
work is good (I am gonna, at some point, get $2/hr more by switching to a job in another division which is a temporary position but will potentially become permanent if I and the other people hired for it do well and impress said division). things with the boy are good (we finished that whole moving into our new house thing, and now we just have to get everything put away but we’re off to a good start there). cats are healthy and silly and generally good. (my) money and health are not good.
This morning I started crying in a downtown Walgreens. Because of Mango Madness Snapple.
It’s weird how grief leaves you alone, you start to feel like you’re getting used to that emptiness, then it blindsides you out of nowhere.
we close on the house at the beginning of November. we have to be out of our rental at the beginning of December. All weekends of November, minus Thanksgiving and maybe a friend’s birthday, will be painting and moving. and moving and painting. there is an alarmingly large portion of the house that is a terrible orangey apricot color and I need to change that before there is furniture in the house. and also there are a couple rooms I want to change the color just because. but it’s most important to get that terrible apricot out. I was sick for two weeks and got my first colonoscopy because of it and now I’m passing a kidney stone that is worse than the ones of the past decade but not as bad as the first few I passed, in high school and college, but it is making me very slow and deliberate and also craving potatoes all the time but that might not be the kidney stone.
Mah girl with some tips on supporting depressed friends
shards of sound
Depression is insanely varied, but it almost always comes with some form of disconnection and alienation. Suddenly you don’t want to bother your best friend; everything you do or say becomes a burden. And it’s hard on the other people, too. I get that. Because “holy shit, they are dealing with some real, deep things, and I have no idea what to say” is something I feel, too, and I *know* how they feel. Empathy can be really difficult sometimes, especially when grappling with life or death matters.
So what do you do when they need to reconnect with you, but you have no idea what to say? You ask them. You say “what do you need?” Chances are they’ll say “I have no idea,” so here are a few communication tips that worked for me that you can suggest. Remember that depression makes most of us process things a bit differently…
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The Boy and I have made an offer on a house, and it was accepted! For those of you who have not bought a house or looked into it, this means we have a month or two before we are actual home owners, and may not be home owners at the end of that time. We need the get the house inspected and the chimney inspected and then bargain for who will cover what repairs. If we don’t agree or the seller doesn’t agree, we don’t end up owning a house. There’s also a sort of built in waiting period. And our rental is month-to-month, but the condition on going month to month was that we’d give 2 months notice (the average time period is 1 month, both for notice and for getting all the inspections and bartering and paperwork and such done)
but still VERY EXCITING
A lot of my time lately has been focused on house hunting. The Boy and I are looking to purchase a place. We started looking extremely casually earlier this year, but a couple weeks back we got a realtor and last weekend we toured some houses. It is really fun and also scary. Continue reading